Nuwara Eliya, Sri Lanka
I had itchy feet, so I went on holiday. Now my entire body itches… Because I went on holiday. I’ve gone full blown malaria. A bite on my left eye lid, 5 my right cheek, 8 on my neck, about 21 on my arms and a few in… other places. First stop today, a tea house, to see how tea leaves are dried, processed and classed before sitting down for an in depth tea tasting. It’s interesting, but reaffirms, tea, is not the drink for me. I remain an outcast in the adult world, not dabbling in tea or coffee. What can I say… My tastebuds… among other things, are yet to mature. The day’s driving is spent winding through the hills of tea plantations to get to the town of Nuwara Eliya. In Nuwara Eliya, we had lunch in a little place that served dhal curry in metal buckets, and some of the biggest, folded up, savoury pancakes, you’ve ever seen… I got to see these pancakes being made first hand, when I ventured off to find the toilet in this fine establishment. To get to the toilet, I went through the back kitchen, and up a grease laden set of attic stairs (basically a ladder). The stairs/ladder lead to a small room that seconded as another kitchen, where I saw the giant savoury pancakes being made… This room is also where the toilet was… In a space, I could only describe as a closet, with a hole in the floor. The food was good… But I was not.. Feeling sick and nauseous, that lunch ended up in a hotel toilet. At the local supermarket, lining up at the registers, I notice, in place of chewing gum and tic tacs, are razors… For shaving.. Not just a few either.. Multiple flavours/ sorts of razors. Seeing the state of people’s teeth in this particular town, I want to put forward a motion to reinstate gum at the register… For the sake of oral and dental hygiene… Put down your razors and beetle-nuts and pick up some gum or listerine instead. I have included a picture of a particular Sri Lankan gentleman sporting a wide, white, handlebar moustache… I’ll probably base that advertising campaign around him.. “Mo razor, mo problems”, a take on the classic Notorious BIG song, “Mo Money, Mo problems”…. There’s so much I could do for this town… The highest point in Sri Lanka is 2524 meters and the town of Nuwara Eliya (where I am now), sits at an altitude of 1,868 meters… so the temperature drops as the sun does. The first time I’ve needed a jacket in Sri Lanka… so far. My second motion for the day, was to ban the buffett – I chose soup for dinner instead, at the hotel bar, “The Rouge Elephant”. I liked the name of the bar, their soup and their local ‘Petroff’ vodka. Here’s to feeling better tomorrow!