Pre burn. Inbound and down

Reno, NV

How do you prepare for the coldest cold, the hottest of heat and dust storms? My bag looks…. interesting, with items ranging from practical to plain and hard out, weird. I catch a taxi to downtown Reno for some last minute costume shopping and a Walmart spree with fellow burners, Ashlea and Luke. Whoa Walmart. That’s an experience!

So, we’re about 1.5 hours into the bus ride to burning man and my bladder is so swollen, I’m in physical pain. What do I do about this? I get Riley to open the bus door, I take my pants off and hang my ass out the bus door and let that stream flow. So there I am, pantsless, urinating out the door of a moving bus. The stars, the darkness, the bus driver and Riley spotting me… The most exhilarating wee I’ve ever done. Our bus is named “Patricia”. She’s old and powdery baby blue in colour. The rear half of the bus is fitted out with mattresses and the front half with plywood seats. 34 of us are piled in here, it’s like an orgy without penetration (the best kind of orgy). Seriously though, the bus has so many bodies, if we were in Mexico, you could mistake us for illegal immigrants. The bus screams drug mule. Luckily, the two cop cars we passed were already pre occupied with other vehicles because the majority of people are ready to fill their cavities with contraband. We’ve made a generous allowance for the time we think it will take to get to the Playa (Black Rock City) – 4 hours drive and 4 hours lining up in the bus to get in…. I pray, if I ever were to pray, that we aren’t in transit for the full 8 hours.. Other girls are also growing impatient regarding urinating. Two girls have cut a plastic bottle in half to fashion a funnel to pee out of our moving vehicle. I feel like a pioneer of such regarding these matters. 11:06pm and we’re no where near being on the playa. Almost everyone on the bus has now urinated out the door of our bus Patricia. Finally we hit the line up to enter. The fine, alkaline dust starts pouring in through the cracks of all vents, doors and windows. We are hustled out of the bus and made to line up and show our tickets. We’re here. Trailers will get set up tomorrow morning. I go for a quick walk around my new desert home in the darkness to try and get my bearings making sure I don’t venture too far and get lost. People are setting up furiously. No sleep is going to be had on Patricia and we cast out one camp member for being too drunk and disorderly… Nick.

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