It’s Thursday night at the Brisbane Airport. I’m waiting to catch my delayed flight to Cairns when I hear an announcement, “The Brisbane airport has increased security measures. Please ensure you report any suspicious behaviour or items”…. That’s a broad directive… If I was to take it seriously, I’d be reporting the burger I just ate, myself and at least 89% of the people in this airport. We’re all suspicious AF… Who thinks, “I’m going to wear a baby pink baseball cap and a green snuggie to the airport today so as not to draw unwanted, negative, attention to myself?” Answer = The girl I’m looking at currently.
So why Cairns? When I was in Bali last, I had booked in to do my open water and advanced open water scuba diving course.. This is essential for when I go back to Belize to dive the great blue hole. It was a 3 days for the open water (18mtr) and another 2 days on top of that to do the advanced (30mtr). My partner pleaded with me to not do the advanced open water course, as he wanted to “spend more time with me”. I obliged and only did the open water course. Exactly 3 months to the day since I went for my last dive and decided to put someone else’s needs and wants before my own. Time to finish what I started.
27 October 2017
It’s technically Friday morning now, as I land in Cairns after midnight, to hit the hay for 6 hours, before rising again.
Cairns is quiet, tropical and I kind of like it… No, I very much like it. I’m at ease here. The water, the rainforest and inbetween. Surf n turf at its finest.
By 10:30am, I’m at the only AJ Hackett Bungy site in Australia, where I’ve booked in for something called, “the biggest day out”. Unlimited bungy jumps, all, day, long. I’d previously jumped 3 times in NZ so was keen to go again.
Second time jumping, I tell the jump master Ash & his crew member Shaun, “Hurry up, I want to do more jumps!”. Ash replies, “Oh sorry, let me just turn up the gravity for you”. Ash asks me, “What brings you here today?”… Me: “Other than the obvious, that I’m an adrenalin junkie and want to jump off a tower all day… If I’m being honest, I want to feel alive”.
So, for the next jump, it’s the reverse elevator. Ash explains it to me.. “Look into my eyes, do some soul gazing. You’re going to jump feet first and and as you’re falling down, you’re going to keep looking up into my eyes”. I can’t even hold eye contact with him and keep looking away. He has nice eyes, but it’s… too f*cking intimate, as I remember the last time I actually looked into another mans eyes #awkward. I get back to the top of the tower. Ash asks if I enjoyed the reverse elevator and I tell him, “surprisingly, yes”. He comes back with the line, “I told you you’d enjoy falling for me”… I’m sure he gets to practice these lines daily with the numerous female tourists frequenting his jump tower (insert eye roll and middle finger). By the end, you do develop a certain level of rapport with them and the level of bullsh*t lessens.. Kind of.
So far, I’m only 3 jumps in and it’s been 2 hours. I was annoyed that other paying tourists were obstructing my non stop jump ambitions. Good news was the customers had died off.
Full disclosure, backwards Jesus (the name I assigned a jump) is not as digestible as I originally thought. I hesitated on this jump and on the backwards elevator! Who am I? I’ll jump off anything, yet jumping without seeing what I’m jumping in to… I’m apparently not 100% comfortable with. The various jumps all have different names. I completed the swan x 2, reverse elevator, fruit bat, drop bar x 2, pendulum, handstand, front flip x 2, roof dive (where you run off a roof) and I don’t remember the others. The common theme is, all jumps end with me hanging upside down.
By 4:30pm, most staff had gone home and the facility was closing up. In total, I completed 14 jumps before getting booted. 13 of them were with clothes… The jump master offered the rooftop jump for free if I did one jump naked. I didn’t need incentive and was already planning on doing a jump naked (he didn’t need to know that), so this “offer” worked out in my favour…. Nothing but a harness, throwing caution and my vagina to the wind… Until I got to the bottom and was left dangling, naked, at the very moment an old couple arrived… Of course they had to arrive at that moment. The wife was….. Not as impressed as the husband.
196 (the number of steps to climb to the jump platform) x 14 (the number of jumps I could fit in) = 2744 steps. Super thankful for being a seasoned stair climber or this might’ve hurt. Safe to say, I had next to no adrenalin left in my body and one cord burn on my arm from not releasing the rope soon enough on a quad front flip. I’m practically Jason Statham.
The day concluded like any good Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday does, with a Mojito.
Cheeky clip of a few jumps: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2QZ7S51XVA