My first day in Moalboal is rainy and overcast. The ongoing threat of the typhoon has a good portion of the Philippines on high alert. Cancelled flights and ferries have left thousands stranded and sadly, all diving for today is cancelled too! Coast Guards on foot, with guns, patrol the beaches, telling snorkelers to exit the water (Police aren’t this heavily armed).
A friend/ fling/ objective 2 (we’ll refer to him as Baguette) who’d planned to join me for the next few days, had his flight cancelled and was stuck on the island of Siargao. If this isn’t a divine intervention, I don’t know what is. Really, I was liking my own time, meeting fun, new people who valued the same things as I did… who mightn’t have been as weird as me (not many are), but appreciated the quirks of Lena. Plus, now I think of it, Baguette didn’t once say he was looking forward to catching up or seeing me again.. he seemed disengaged and disinterested… 2 weeks prior it’s all, “miss you heaps”, cute emojis and “we obvs like each other” bla bla bla. Yeh, obvs not and no thanks, I’d rather walk over a bed of sea urchins and have the bends than continue a cheap imitation of what was sold as an authentic “connection” or “vibe” (which would be replicated with the next girl who’d be flying from Australia to meet him next week in Thailand). If you’re going to be a player, be proud, own it… not tell me we “like” each other and if I thought it was just about sex, that was “sad”. My, my, that fizzled out quicker than a set of sparklers on a birthday cake… minus the cake.
Between losing Grandma and the dissipation of whatever this connection/ fling/ facade was, feeling kind of emotionally spent.
No point in trying to make sense of why people do and say the things they do. Everyone has good and bad. In an effort to be happy and leave with some kind of positive memory, I’m choosing to remember the moments when I was none the wiser, and cut him some slack. He’s just a 24yo backpacker, going back to study and struggle for 2 years in a cold country where you’d have to wear a dry suit to surf. Part of me pities him, complaining about weeks of bad weather since arriving in the Philippines, that he’s broke and sick of the other backpackers at his hostel, I go as far to offer booking his flight back to Cebu (which he declines by way of booking his own flight). I know what you’re thinking… Listen, just because our interactions had done a complete 180, and I found them cold, off putting and unattractive, I’m not malicious… I’m a fixer and too damn nice (when I’m not busy being cold and building walls myself).
Highlight for today was getting my hair braided so it wouldn’t knot when I went diving tomorrow (if diving wasn’t cancelled). Now look like a white Alicia Keys… at least that’s what the Irish dude I befriended at the bar tonight thought. This is the guy who bought me mojitos and taught me the term, “gee bag” (translation to English = bag of c*nts). You truly never stop learning.
God Bless the Irish.